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folks, this is what happens when you decide “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” in regards to keeping your damn software up-to-date.  when it does finally break, nearly a decade and a half later, no one can fix it.  why?  because you have a vendor app that was written with Borland C++ 4.5, and i can’t get my hands on that to create a debug version of the exe, that’s why.  and XP doesn’t want to let a 16-bit windows debugger run (there is probably a workaround for that, but dear fucking god!  you’re still using a 16-bit system!). 

honestly, we even keep the damn cobol on the back end at the current version, and that language used to use punch cards.  not to mention that it pre-dates, well, me.  but no.  i’m stuck supporting your shitty little system and learning all about obsolete versions of languages, since you never saw fit to upgrade from FoxPro 2.6a and your app apparently uses Clipper to read dBase III tables.  it’s not even comprable to learning latin; i’m learning etruscian instead.

i’d smack whomever is responsible for this system never being upgraded or having the business moved to a different system.  but i don’t know who they are and i suspect they are in iowa.

why does your current advertising campaign hate the english language?  “Let’s Holiday the Season”?!?!?!  does your ad company not actually know the difference between nouns and verbs?  what dim fuckwit signed off on this crap?

unless you are specifically targeting the semi-literate to unliterate demographic, i’m going to assume this will be corrected.  once you realize what a horrible, horrible crime against language you’ve committed.

shit, that’s never going to happen, is it?  fuck you, i’m going to the home depot then.

a poor member of the blogosphere i’d be, were i remiss in weighing in on yesterday’s historic election (yes, yes…would have been historic regardless.  shut up).  actually, i’ve already been docked 150 blogging points and an additional 50 general internet points for waiting till the afternoon.  as opposed to posting at, say, 1AM EST.

 so, let me just say: thank the god, goddess, ancestor spirt, nature spirt or ineffable, undefined universal spiritual being of your choice the election swung to obama.  you may notice i’m not fervantly political.  however, given the state of the nation right now, had the vote gone republican, again, i’d have given expatiriation a serious consideration.  policies, ideologies, theologies, philosophies and any other -ology and -sophosy aside, the current ruling party has fucked up.  seriously fucked up.  whomever breaks it does not get to fix it. 

so, we leave steering through what are surely the darkest times of my life: war galore and the global economy imploding (to give the highlights), to a new captain.  i say good.  the onion sums it up nicely, as usual. 

in other news, residents of CT remained sensible and did not vote to let a mob rewrite the state’s constitution (mostly because the idea of gays marrying and having some measure of happiness freaks them out).  good news as well.  true democracy is neither efficient, nor particularly desireable.  that’s why we have a representative republic.  works better.

with apologies to those pennsylvannians that i know, like and respect; you are, as a whole, the worst fucking drivers i have ever encountered.  yeah, yeah, stereotyping is bad, whatever.  the point is that, since i witnessed about 25 of you handle traffic on an exit ramp into philly by putting you cars in reverse and then backing up on to the interstate, nothing anyone with a PA plate has done has restored my faith in your ability, as a group, to be remotely compentent behind the wheel.  in fact, i cringe whenever i see a car with PA plates.

the woman who was behind me on the way into work yesterday did nothing to improve my opinion of you.  in fact, she made it worse.

now, i know there are regional differences between the states.  however, here in connecticut, we do not believe we, or others, have the ability to pass our vehicles through solid matter.  such as the large, wide, slow truck that was in front of me.  i’m going to guess that you cannot drive through trucks in PA either, but that is, of course, an assumption.  regardless, i cannot.  honking, repeatedly, at me will not change the laws of physics, nor the fabric of universe.

also, when you pull up beside me by driving in the shoulder and find yourself still unable to pass the very large, wide and slow truck in front of me, please do not hold up two fingers to indicate there are two lanes.  when there clearly are not.  you see over on the other side of the road, heading into the city?  yes, those dashed white lines in the middle of the road?  that direction has two lanes.  notice the lack of them over here, on the outbound side.  yes, i know there is room enough for two cars to drive next to each other.  see those parked cars, up ahead, that you will hit if you don’t brake and get the fuck back behind me?  yes, that’s why the road is as wide as it is.  to allow parking.  not driving.  fuckwit.

now, i’m sure not everyone from your state drives like a lobotimized lamprey eel.  but you hide them well.  please, for the love of god, learn how to fucking drive.  thanks.�

yes, i’d rather see my red sox in the world series, but you earned it.  that was a damn fine game last night, my personal feelings on the outcome notwithstanding.  now, go forth and beat the holy hell out of the phillies.

addendum:  reading the post-game quotes from the sox:

“We played as hard as we could, we just kind of ran out of magic,” said second baseman Dustin Pedroia [stats] in a tear-free clubhouse. “I’m very proud of everyone, we played hard all year long.

“We battled with (the Rays) all season long - they ended up beating us. They outplayed us. In October, the best team always wins. They move on. Good luck to them, they will represent the American League well.”

make me think even less of the angels, who whined about how they lost to a team they were better than. way to show sportsmanship, LA! anyway, again, go Rays, kick some Philly ass.

i’ll admit it: i was worried.  watching the rays tee-off on daisuke did not put me in a good mood.  nor did getting called by work help.  add a toddler with a cold (that he has kindly shared with me) and, well, the game faded to the background.  everytime my attention flitted over to the tube, despair seemed inches closer.  clock ticking, pendulum swinging, noose tightening and various other clichés come to mind.  resignation slowly started to creep in (cause, well, the rays are good).  i was distracted.  the game faded further into the background.

 should i have known better?  part of me did, i think.  i can never count them out, even when i should.  even if i do, i’ll still watch to the bitter end, unlike those undeserving fucks who walked out on earlier games: i’ve sat an hour in the rain in an empty ballpark, just because it hadn’t been offically called yet.  and that for a regular season game.  i’ve watched this team backed into a corner in the ALCS and seen what they can do.  still, i was distracted.  i had to work.  my attention waivered.  we were down 7-0.  shit.

still, i should have known better.  finished up with work, for the moment and, wait a minute…we scored!  then, papi.  holy fuck, that was beautiful.  the heart saw it half a minute before the eyes did.  after that, you just know.  there is no way a comeback like this starts and doesn’t get finished.  i still missed parts: drew’s home run, for instance, cause work called again and the boy was still not feeling well.

but i listened to the end.  outside, in the back yard, with radio, pipe and whisky.  usually, i’ll read while i listen to the games, but the book was closed for this one.  for a game like this, radio is the way to go.  you anticipate everything more, every moment holds more tension, more promise.  plus, you get to listen your team’s announcers and some good old biased commentary; rather than the hired talking heads on the idiot box.  the excitement is intoxicating.  tied going into the ninth.  masterson is on the mound and in a jam.  nerve-wracking.  but he’s there to throw sliders and throw them he does.  double-play, dear god that was huge!

bottom of the ninth.  pedrioia is out.  papi is out.  youk is…safe!  and an error!  bless you youk, for fooling longoria into thinking you run fast.  youk on second, 2 out, bay is predictably walked.  drew is up.  so am i.  you have to stand up for this sort of situation.  three balls.  one strike.  then, magic, again.  line, shot, hop-the-wall…double!!!  victory!!!  it always feels a bit silly to dance by yourself in the dark night air.  so what?  this deserves a dance of joy.

saturday is next.  doesn’t matter anymore if we win or lose (though i’d prefer a win), cause we sure as hell aren’t going down without a fight.  that’s the beauty of this game; you just never know what you’ll see.

or does the design of mccain’s political propaganda resemble the label of mccain potato products just a bit too much?

regardless, every time i see one of his ads, i wind up with a craving for fries.

my penchant for reading newsweek on the can inspires a political rant.  read it at quiblit.com.

here we see the infant blissfully engaged in its natural habitat (the living room)…

wait, it’s spotted our camera man….

oh god! it’s going after him!

run! for god’s sake man, run while you can! it’s about to pounce!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

while the loss of our cameraman is tragic, just look at that magnificent beast…

time for baby pictures!  [grin]