dear automobile drivers from the state of pennsylvannia
with apologies to those pennsylvannians that i know, like and respect; you are, as a whole, the worst fucking drivers i have ever encountered. yeah, yeah, stereotyping is bad, whatever. the point is that, since i witnessed about 25 of you handle traffic on an exit ramp into philly by putting you cars in reverse and then backing up on to the interstate, nothing anyone with a PA plate has done has restored my faith in your ability, as a group, to be remotely compentent behind the wheel. in fact, i cringe whenever i see a car with PA plates.
the woman who was behind me on the way into work yesterday did nothing to improve my opinion of you. in fact, she made it worse.
now, i know there are regional differences between the states. however, here in connecticut, we do not believe we, or others, have the ability to pass our vehicles through solid matter. such as the large, wide, slow truck that was in front of me. i’m going to guess that you cannot drive through trucks in PA either, but that is, of course, an assumption. regardless, i cannot. honking, repeatedly, at me will not change the laws of physics, nor the fabric of universe.
also, when you pull up beside me by driving in the shoulder and find yourself still unable to pass the very large, wide and slow truck in front of me, please do not hold up two fingers to indicate there are two lanes.  when there clearly are not. you see over on the other side of the road, heading into the city? yes, those dashed white lines in the middle of the road? that direction has two lanes. notice the lack of them over here, on the outbound side. yes, i know there is room enough for two cars to drive next to each other. see those parked cars, up ahead, that you will hit if you don’t brake and get the fuck back behind me? yes, that’s why the road is as wide as it is. to allow parking. not driving. fuckwit.
now, i’m sure not everyone from your state drives like a lobotimized lamprey eel. but you hide them well. please, for the love of god, learn how to fucking drive. thanks.Â
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:55 pm
So I was driving along today in western MA, and watching some really large planes–these monster multi-engine things–gliding down. Too low to go to Bradley, I’d think, probably Air Force planes going into Westover. Anyway, I’m watching these giants and thinking even though they’e descending, they seem to be going way too slow to still stay airborne, to just be floating down all gently like that. What if, I mused, physics sometimes cuts you some slack if no one’s got their measurement tools out. You know, just a little something between nature and you, just this once, when no one’s really paying attention. Cars through solid matter? Maybe that sort of thing is better understood in other parts.
K (nah)
October 28th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
No. Suburban Chicago drivers are all blind. I’m certain of it.
January 3rd, 2009 at 11:16 pm
oh my gosh .. I laughed so hard at your wit and frustration
you should come to Costa Rica and try driving
YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE DRIVERS HERE
I think you would have a stroke .. you would literally blow up
if you saw these Insane no rules drivers
it is a free for all ..
if there is a space they go for it
they drive like dogs in heat
right up your ass all the time ..
insanity in Costa Rica
but hey .. the weather is great …